Got The Blues? Here’s Some Sage Advice For Happiness

Happiness. Stop and think about it for a moment. Are you happy?

It seems like a fairly inane question, doesn’t it?

But have you thought about it lately?

The reason I bring it up is that the lowering of estrogen levels during the meno years doesn’t just have an impact on us physically it can also have quite a significant effect on our moods and/or emotions, and therefore our happiness.

This is the reason why you’ll often hear anxiety, depression or irritability listed as common signs of perimenopause (the lead up to menopause) and menopause.

It’s Not Unusual

Some women are lucky enough to escape (a bit like PMS) but others are more emotionally sensitive to hormonal changes (raising my hand here 😀). Our brains need estrogen to function well so if our levels are fluctuating or they’re on the decline it can affect our mood and mental health.

But fear not, if this is you you’re quite normal. It’s not unusual to go through bouts of depression or ‘the blues’ during the meno years because as well as dealing with fluctuating hormones, we’re often dealing with big life-events like ageing parents, the thought of empty nests, retirement, divorce, or often-times the death of beloved family members.

It's not unusual to go through a bout of the 'blues' in midlife. Share on X

As Drs Lily Stojanovska, Marcia Jones PhD and Teresa Eichenwald MD point out in the book Menopause for Dummies it’s important to make a distinction between these signs and psychological disorders of the same name. In reality, they’re different beasts.

“The mood and emotional changes that you experience because of hormonal changes shouldn’t interfere with your daily life – cause damage to friendships or relationships with colleagues at work, make it impossible to manage your normal schedule of activities, or prompt you to use alcohol or drugs to help you feel better,” they say. “If your signs do provoke these changes, talk to your doctor. [And bear in mind] no matter what your exact situation is, you have plenty of good reasons to be at a heightened emotional stage during midlife. It’s not just the hormone thing; it’s the everyday world you live in during your forties and fifties.”

Their other tips include getting your head to work positively by:

Dealing with changes, emotions and stress in a positive way. For example, write down your feelings on paper; it makes them a little easier to deal with.

Be positive; try to rid yourself of negative thoughts. For example, share a smile with a stranger. For those ill-timed episodes, adopt a mantra such as: ‘OK, the car has a flat by it’s not going to ruin my day.’

Try to change your self-definition and see life in a new light. Every time you look in the mirror, affirm something yourself such as: ‘I like the colour of my greying hair, and the wrinkles on my face.’

See the big picture. For example, if you’re going through some rough patches, and the whole situation seems horrible, try to imagine it a year from now or even 10 years from now. See, those problems aren’t as big as you thought!

Tackle these emotions before you move on to deal with other aspects of change. For example, talk to a friend – talking is great therapy(!) – or choose a self-help book.

Talk to your doctor or professional counsellor if you need a professional person to confide in.

Menopause for Dummies $30.75

Main image by Jon Ly courtesy of Unplash